In case you didn't know

Here are the 86 rules of boozing.

I like these:

41. Anyone on stage or behind a bar is fifty percent better looking.

55. If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.

82. There’s nothing wrong with drinking before noon. Especially if you’re supposed to be at work.