We have a global problem

The marine food supplies are in danger folks. Just ask the people in the Gulf of Mexico, Japan, Africa and Australia. This is a shame because I'll eat just about anything that comes from the sea, I prefer seafood to anything else.

Midwestern fresh waters have a big problem too. If you're in the mood for Asian carp, there are plenty. Here is a video of the carp in action. I don't know why the guy in this video is laughing. This shit isn't funny.

Here is the Wiki.

"Dave Camp, Congressman for the 4th District of Michigan, along with Senator Debbie Stabenow has introduced the CARP ACT, which directs the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers to take action to prevent Asian Carp from entering the Great Lakes. It is estimated that it will cost more than $30 million in 2010 to prevent the carp from invading the Great Lakes."

30 million? I suggest that you put a $5 bounty on every dead Asian carp turned over to Conservation Departments. I have a feeling their numbers would drop off rather steadily.


Hotdogs for homophobes

This is funny!

Yes, your menu is tired

BA Foodist points out the 5 most played out restaurant dishes. I can think of a dozen dishes that could be added to this list. Kansas City, especially, seems stuck in a culinary time-warp of copycat dishes. Do chefs in KC dumb down their menus to suit the pallets of their patrons or do they lack creativity? Both I think.

"If imitation is the best form of flattery, then there's a whole lot of flattery going on in Kansas City restaurants."

What other menu items need to be retired?


Chinese Government to Execute Food-Safety Violators

Hot damn! The Chinese don't mess around.

"China warned Thursday that the worst offenders of food safety rules would get the death penalty in a new crackdown on an industry that has spawned embarrassing and deadly scandals in products ranging from seafood to baby formula."


Quick Bites

Preparing a well thought out review for a restaurant can be time consuming. It also often leaves me a little remorseful upon later visits for my opinions can change. I usually like to visit a place a number of times before I craft a review. In that light I am able to stand by my reviews with a clear heart... a clear mind ("Can't lose"... sorry for the Friday Nights Light Reference).

However, I have been to a number of local places recently so I wanted to give my first impression of said locations. I was mostly sober (usually) when I visited these places and I was able to remember key items about each. I also wanted to keep our readers informed about who may be on the Royals next season. You may not know many of these guys so it is my job to inform the mass of readers who yearn for Royals news as the season just ended.

The Billy Butler - All-Star Pizza ( is located in the Tuileries Plaza. Basically, it's in the Northland. Just like the young Royals slugger this place provides consistent pizza and a great pizza/pub atmosphere. In the same mode as Butler, this pizza joint will hit for a high average in providing heavily-topped pizzas and and a good selection of taps. It also features the best football game's line board. If you don't know what that is ask your uncle Morty who always looks sick at Thanksgiving when the Cowboys don't cover the spread. Just a word of warning... just like young Billy, don't expect many home runs with this place. It's good, it's solid, it's just not a homer every time.

The Alex Gordon - Granite City Food and Brewery ( is located in many places, but I hit up the Zona Rosa location recently. This place is just like Alex Gordon. When Granite City started showing up nationwide beer geeks went nuts. Afterall, the microbrewing craze was, in many parts, in its infancy. Unfortunately, just like young Alex, these places flopped in my view. The food was of an Applebees quality with a a much higher price point. However, I recently gave the place another look and I was surprised. The hand-crafted beer actually tasted, well... hand-crafted. The server was fantastic (and probably should leave that place and start working at Plaza III or the American). The food was good. The prices were appropriate. Just like Alex Gordon's recent resurgence at the plate (and as a left fielder), Granite City made a comeback in my book.

The Chris Getz - The Art of Pizza ( has opened a new location in Westport. I touted this move a few months ago and was waiting expectantly for the Westport location to open. The owner assured me he had trained the staff there and it was going to be great. He was wrong. First of all, how many times must I say it... DO NOT OPEN UNTIL YOU HAVE YOUR LIQUOR LICENSE! This isn't a cupcake bakery or a tea hut, this is a pizza restaurant and as such requires at least beer. But what about the food? It was not good. The pizza by the slice was bland and lacked any real flavor. I made the mistake of ordering the Philly Cheese Steak sandwich (yes, I know I have an obsession with those). It was the worst, most bland Philly I've ever had. They should change it to the Erie or the Scranton. Philly, a town of battery hurling hoodlums, should attack this place and demand that the term "Philly" be removed.

How does this apply to Getz? This guy was supposed to be good. We were told he had great speed and great defense and well.... we're still waiting. Just like I'm waiting on the Art of Pizza to hopefully iron out their kinks.

Happy Eats...


It's marijuana I swear!

Funny skit from 3rd Rock.

"This whole time we have been eating her slop and you're a damn gourmet!"


What's Next?

This is pure genius. Who comes up with this stuff? Grant Achatz that's who. There is so much innovation and advanced thinking going on here.

"Next Restaurant will explore world cuisine. It is being developed by chef Grant Achatz, Nick Kokonas, and the creative team that built Alinea, including Crucial Detail designer Martin Kastner, Architect Steve Rugo, and Interior Designer Tom Stringer.
Next Restaurant will serve four menus per year from great moments in culinary history – or the future. Our team of chefs will investigate, test, refine, and present authentic menu interpretations from cultures, places and times."

Food from the past and future? Check.
No bar or bartender? Check.
Tickets instead of reservations? Check.

Here is the about, and here is the trailer.

Anyone for a deal?

The above pic is the logo for a relatively new restaurant in KC called "C. Withers Restaurant". This family run BBQ and comfort food joint was recently opened on Broadway (kind of across from the Uptown Theater). I really don't know too much about this place. I hear they have good BBQ and their side dishes are fresh and homemade.
I do know, however, that I will be trying this place soon courtesy of some FOX 4 deal thingy ( In short, you get 50 bucks worth of Gift Certificates to this place for $16.50. I recently used one of these deals for Room 39 and had a great time.
Also, from a practical standpoint it allows your cheap ass friend (we all have one... If you don't know who it is, it's probably you...) to actually go out to eat. According to some basic reviews, getting this deal should allow one person to get at least 3 meals out of this amount of Gift Certificates.
If you are into Mexican food, it includes the same type deal for Dos Hombres and a place called Maya's Mexican Bistro as well. Cheap Asses Unite!

"Do you think there is really a grill in here at all?"

I met Mid Town Food Guy over at Bonefish Grill the other night. We didn't meet because we like to go on "Guy Dates", we met because the Bonefish people sent us a couple "Challenge Packs". Basically it was a folder with a gift card for Bonefish and a gift card for what they called their "competitor". Their "competitor" turned out to be Red Lobster.

I had been to a Bonefish Grill once before, about five years ago in Clearwater, Fla. I remembered it being very good, I had salmon on a cedar plank. For this visit we chose the Northland location on 45 highway. The dining space seemed upscale, dimly lit and classy. The entire staff dresses in white chef coats. This makes it hard to distinguish anyone, from anyone else, that you may, or may not want to bother for something.

I sat at the bar and waited for Mid Town for a few minutes while sipping a cocktail. Mid Town eventually joined me at the bar and this is where things went horribly wrong. We ordered food! Mid Town ordered a house salad to go with his Mango Fish Tacos. I ordered Crab and Corn Chowder to go with "Grilled" Scallops and Shrimp.

Mid Town's salad was lettuce on a plate, nothing fancy and it's hard to screw up lettuce. The Corn and Crab Chowder it seems, is really easy to screw up. Not a hint of corn flavor anywhere in the dish. Isn't this the peak of corn season? There were some bits of something that more closely resembled crayfish tails than crab, but tasted like nothing. Yellow Water would be a more fitting name for the dish. No amount of salt and pepper was going to save this crap.

When the entrees came out I gave Mid Town a couple scallops and shrimp in exchange for one of his fish tacos. It was like trading crap for crap, neither of us got the best of this deal. The scallops and shrimp were so tightly packed together it appeared they could have been on a skewer at some point. There was no mention of skewers on the menu and there were no holes through the meat. This row of seafood "meat" had come out of a cryovac bag of some sort. It had "grill marks" on one side of the "meat" but they seemed to be airbrushed or painted on. The other side of the "meat" row was kind of a pale gray. After some inspection by Mid Town, he turns to me and says, "Do you think there is really a grill in here at all?". I was really doubting the presence of a grill at this point. I suspect my meal was cooked either sous vide or microwaved in cryovac. The only flavor it had was a salty, fake char taste.

The Mango Fish Tacos were just as poorly executed. After a bite of the super sweet, creamy, runny taco I opened it up and could not find one piece of fish.

How do they get away with serving this crap? If someone from Bonefish reads this please post, enlighten me on the preparation of that shitty shrimp-scallop dish.

I hope my trip to their "competitor" is a better experience. At least then I'll have something to thank Bonefish for.

See you in twenty years

The fine folks over at Sonic's PR house invited me to come try their food again. It had been twenty years since I'd visited a Sonic drive-in. I was offered a $50 Sonic gift card to try Sonic's menu. I knew It would take me some time to use all $50 so I invited three friends to join me for lunch in Westport.

Darin the manager hooked us up with all kinds of goodies. I had the Chicken Fried Steak sandwich and tater tots with cheese. I don't eat a lot of fried food these days so it tasted pretty greasy. To add to the greasy flavor was the fact that the oil the tots were cooked in was either past it's time or the oil wasn't hot enough. This resulted in tots that were super grease laden, nearly dripping with oil. My sandwich was good, definitely on par with most other fast food places. The other guys had the Foot-Long Coney Dogs and burgers. They enjoyed their meals, especially the Coneys. I think the ice cream shakes and sundaes were the biggest hit among the group, no surprise there.

Get over to Sonic and get some food. I'm not all that into fried foods but I know your fat ass can't get enough.