Raw veganism is the dizzope? Huh?

According to Lisa Paris, Raw Veganism is a total party scene. She uses all sorts of hip, street lingo to convince you of such. Who talks like this? Raw vegan white girls from the means streets of Portland that's who. Suckas!.

"Most peeps think of raw and veganism as lackluster fruit and vegetable shenanigans but oh snap- there is so much more!"

"....the beauty is you don’t have to get all hardcore super raw gangster to experience the amazing benefits."

"I believe there are two key factors in attaining this state of raw dietary dope-ness"

"There is a majorly cool world of info out there and it is our pleasure to get you hooked up-phat."

And finally she has a "crazy hook-up" that is going to "blow our minds!" Aw Yeah!

 Ready? Here it is, straight outa the Kitch!!!

Straight from the Raw Beets Kitch:
The Parisian Love Crumble
Makes 1 Beautiful Crumble
Ingredients:
1 ¼ cup raw almonds
1 cup walnuts
1 lb. strawberries
¾ cup pitted dates
¼ teaspoon sea salt

"Make a million friends with this tasty crowd pleaser…"

If I served this to my friends at a party I would expect them to punch me in the face. Don't let this little white chick from Portland, Oregon scare you off with her straight-dope street speak. Check out her website here.

Best restaurant name ever?

When choosing a name for your restaurant, make it a good one. Fatty 'Cue in Brooklyn did just that. The menu looks terrific. Asian freshness and heat paired with smokey, fatty, BBQ goodness. I guess some folks call this "fusion". I call it a great idea.

Could something like this fly in KC? I'm not sure if this city would embrace such an exotic rendition of their beloved BBQ. We folks, are BBQ snobs, and we don't like people messing with our cherished pastime.

"Fatty ‘Cue is an effort by a few of the members of the Fatty Crew to bring to Brooklyn a little Southeast Asian fermented funkiness and a whole helluva a lot of smoke. Local and humanely grown/raised/fished products are subjected to our unique flavorings, scrubbed and rubbed, perhaps dropped in a salty-sweet dip pool, and then lovingly treated to low temperature smoke “baths” all for your dining pleasure."

I'm in. You?

Look... it's a book review... sort of

The folks at Workman Publishing Company asked if I would like to review a copy of Steven Raichlen's new BBQ cookbook Planet Barbecue. What a book! This thing weighs 3 pounds, it's an inch and a half thick and it's full of glossy pictures of delicious food!

Like the cover states, it has 309 recipes from 60 countries. Most of them look awesome and I'm dying to try them. This is the guy from the show BBQ U,  that tremendously boring show with the soft-spoken, anal retentive fella on PBS weekend mornings. I admit he does great food, but to watch him cook is like watching a pot never come to a boil.

The book is all about his food, without the boredom of him. Get a copy already! You can get it on amazon for like 12 bucks. This is a lot of book for $12.

Please pass the margaritas

Damn. I meant to type, "Drive passed Margaritas!"

It was Sunday and I wanted fried tacos, so I went down to the Blvd to get some. La Fonda was closed, damn, as were a lot of the restaurants. I kept driving, thinking I would hit up Rosedale BBQ, then I saw Margaritas.

As I pulled in the lot, there was a family of  7 piling out of the place. Damn, I thought, now I remember why I don't eat here. Margaritas is the Denny's of Mexican food. I took a seat at the bar. The barkeep was behind the bar entering information into the touch screen. For about 10 minutes I stared at her awesome neck tattoo proudly displayed below her ponytail.

There are people with neck tattoos, and then there are the rest us. Eventually, I received a menu and a can of Tecate. "Last one!", she says, as she digs it out of a lukewarm tub of water from under the backbar. "Last one?", I said  "Did you have a run on Tecate today?". "No, that's left over from Cinco de Mayo." Damn, I thought, almost a month in that tub? I picked up the menu as I put down the beer.

I stared at the Dennyesque menu for the next few minutes. While looking at the pretty pictures of food I realized this place has free entertainment. The bartender and a server were fighting over a ticket! A lost ticket, that reappeared! In front of the Tēteoh and everyone they fought!

As soon as the entertainment ended, I decided it was time to leave. I asked the bartender for my check but she didn't acknowledge me. Instead she turns toward her friend the touchscreen. After several minutes she leaves the touchscreen, and the bar. Damn. I had no entertainment, I couldn't drink the warm beer, and I couldn't pay my way out.

She returned a few minutes later and started putzing around behind the bar. I asked her what I owed for the Tecate and she replied, "He's looking it up." WTF? Looking it up? Who is looking it up? It's a can of warm beer, not a gold watch. I asked, "Will 5 dollars cover it?" She said, "I don't know, some of our imports are $5.50". F this place! I thew 7 bucks on the bar and left.

MexiDenny's does not have their shit tight stuff together.

She folks, was a loser. Just another loser with a neck tattoo. From the moment I first saw the super hip neck tattoo, I knew not to expect much from her. She, just like all neck tatted people, lack certain things most of the rest of us possess, common sense and job skills.

I would like to bag on Margarita's Dennymex food, but I couldn't get that far. Maybe you can.

And the oysters shout with glee!

You heard it here. The fine peoples at BP have decided that drilling two more wells, that intersect the broken one, is the solution.

"But the best-case scenario of sealing the leak is two relief wells being drilled diagonally into the gushing well — tricky business that won't be ready until August."

Oysters love oil and dynamite?

That's right folks, as far back as 1960, scientists (hired by oil companies) have proven that oysters like oil, oil drilling mud and dynamite.

"Don't believe it? Check out the evidence for yourself. Skip ahead to 9:17 in the video, or watch the earlier segments... all brought to you by the unbiased documentarians at the American Petroleum Institute."

I love the comments.
"I like how it cost them 2 million dollars to watch 3 tanks filled with oysters for 6 months."

Sea water, hold the petro please

I've inadvertently consumed plenty of sea water while swimming, diving and rescuing dolphins, but never thought to cook with it. This guy is selling purified sea water to chefs to enhance the flavor of their creations. Don't worry, he's not scooping it out of the Gulf of Mexico, it's coming from the Outer Hebrides off the west coast of Scotland.

According to the Japanese you can pump it up from the deep, desalinize it, and sell it as drinking water. Minerally goodness!

Tex-Mex done right

I'm pretty sure that Mexican food isn't given the same "Smart Food" label as Seafood and Veggies, but it sure does make me feel smart. I feel smart when eating Mexican because I can usually get a great meal at a great price. I'm not talking about Taco Bell vs. Taco John's here (By the way, Taco Johns is better).

I'm talking about finding good, solid Tex-Mex food at a great price. (As a side note I have been told by many smart foodie types that the vast majority of all Mexican restaurants in America are really "Tex-Mex" places so I'll attach that label to anything that doesn't serve me solely tamales and tainted water).

I have found such a good deal place in Caliente Grille (900 W. 39th Street). This family run eatery is housed in the former Pangea spot along 39th Street. Granted, their web site is not good ( www.calientegrillekc.com). And the menu does not feature any amazing or unique take on traditional Tex-Mex fare. But it is good, solid food at a very inexpensive price point. On a recent mid-week lunch excursion to Caliente I was able to polish off a bowl of chips and salsa, two soft tacos (with a heaping side of sour cream), and two Bud Lights for the grand total of eight bucks!

Caliente makes me feel smart. It also makes me feel good when I sit at the bar and talk with the owners; a mother/daughter team with a strong work ethic trying to make a tough business location into a successful dining destination.

As I've always stated before I'm not a professional restaurant reviewer. I'm just a regular guy who knows what he likes in a dining experience. I like Caliente. Do you? Based on how many people are typically there when I visit the real question is probably whether you've even tried it.

The best cooking shows of all time

This is actually a list of the best episodes from different shows. Julia and Jacques FTW!

Saucy Salads and Twisted Tomato

Hey kids, the City Market is holding some cook-offs this summer.

"Kansas City, MO — The 2010 City Market Farm to Table Festival Series continues with the Saucy Salad Day on Saturday, June 5 from 9:00 a.m. – 2:00 p.m.  There will be plenty of fun to be had for the entire family.  The City Market is calling all foodies and amateur chefs!"

Register for Saucy Salads here.
Register for Twisted Tomato here.

Sad scene

"Our oceans and their denizens are besieged on all sides.  Given these seemingly insurmountable odds, it is difficult to maintain any sense of optimism when one considers the state of our world’s waters."

Johnny Casserole to the rescue!

 What a great idea. If you lived in Chicago you could send your sweetie a nice tuna noodle casserole for Valentines Day.

"Bryson also had a love for the all-American casserole, but a restaurant devoted exclusively to hotdish just seemed too improbable. So he started thinking, "How can I stay small, doing what I want to do, which is getting people to eat some damn casseroles?""

Too busy to cook?

Michael Ruhlman calls bullsh*t!

"Maybe you don't like to cook, maybe you're too lazy to cook, maybe you'd rather watch television or garden, I don't know and I don't care, but don't tell me you're too busy to cook. We all have the same hours every day, and we all choose how to use them."

What the F*ck should I make for dinner?

Happy Cinco! If you're asking yourself this question here are some suggestions.

Do us all a favor, keep it a secret.

Shhhh........ it's a secret. Welcome to the worst website since I built one. This place just whispers class.

"Five Tvs to insure you won't miss the latest Sports." I think I just found my new haunt. Watch out Tower, this place is coming on strong.

Asian invasion

One Chicago chef comes up with a novel idea to stem the numbers of the ultra-invasive Asian carp. Eat them!

Here is a video showing just how big the problem of Asian carp has become in the Illinois river. These fish are taking over our rivers and endangering native species.

Eat ya some!

Please pass the organic salt

The kind folks at Pizza Fusion invited us out for a tasting the other day. Pizza Fusion is all about everything organic, sustained, green, humane, hormone free, recycled and LEED certified. Even their website says that it is "Powered by renewable energy", how in the hell do they pull that off? Read much more than you wanted to know about it here.

These folks are very serious about the "green" scene. To bad they are not as serious about the flavor of their ingredients. We sampled a salad, appetizer, and four pizzas (Pepperoni, Sausage and Tricolor Peppers, Veggie and BBQ Chicken) with three different crusts (Original Organic White Crust, Multigrain Crust, and gluten-free).

Everything we ate was good and very, very fresh. It had a hands-off taste, but it was too hands-off. I was dying for an organic salt shaker. The sauce on the pizza appeared to be simply crushed tomatoes. Don't they make organic garlic or oregano? Organic doesn't have to mean bland, which is, except for the sausage, what I found almost everything to be.

I'm a big fan of meaty, greasy, salty foods but I can also appreciate healthy food with bold flavor. With a few simple, flavor-adding steps Pizza Fusion could be fabulous. All of the crusts were very good and crispy but I really liked the impossibly thin and crisp, gluten-free crust. I also had the best diet soda on earth, Boylan’s All-Natural Soda. This stuff is awesome!

So go get your healthy on but bring a salt shaker or some garlic with you. Check them out on facebook.

Spring Quick Bites

It's time for some Spring "Quick Bites". Fun, festive and short or the complete opposite of a visit to Grinders, here are some quick food thoughts:

1) Pizza Bella has a new owner but the same great menu remains. The Beer list is expanding and the pizza seems to have a little more toppings.

2) Cookies and ice cream at McCoy's is an awesome summer treat. If you sit on the deck you can even watch people swill 86 ounce Bud Lights from the new Kelly's rooftop patio.

3) Spring should be the time that places think about adding to or revamping their menus. I'm looking at you Tower Tavern (one of my favorites, but as I've had everything on the menu I need something new).

4) Genghis Khan Mongolian Grill off of 39th Street is my new favorite location. Great food at a great price. And don't forget to check out the super awesome pizza thrower at Da Bronx next door for some post-meal entertainment. Seriously, this guy could compete on The Food Network today with his pizza making skills.

5) Why can't I get good seafood in Midtown without resorting to buying the six-family size portion at Costco. I feel like I'm killing off half of Nemo's fish school when I buy it there. Un-Fresh just doesn't cut it.

6) Why is Conan coming back to TBS of all places? Was his potential deal with Fox that jacked up?

7) The Well in Waldo has pretty good food and the roof top deck is sweet, but why is the beer selection, once so promising, now so boring.

8) Strouds is now at the "K" and I will consume mass amounts of it this summer. If I can stomach watching the team on the field.

9) It's Pizza 51 time. The outdoor seating area and the well priced slices of pie help me to forget the 500 bucks I dropped on that place for car repairs when it was a service station. Sorta...

10) If you are a restaurant in KC and you still don't have a liquor license, get one. If I eat a ham and cheese crepe I'd like a glass of good red wine. You know who you are...

11) Will this post come out looking as good as it looks when I created it or will KC Food Guy have to come back and re-format it?

Please make her/it go away!

I'm talking about Chopped on Food Network. The show's premise is ok, I guess (although a Top Chef ripoff), but the host and judges must go. Ted Allen and Alex Guarnaschelli should start a snobby asshole camp to train under-assholed folks.

Diggin the Pig!

I finally made it out to Belton for some BBQ. A couple friends opened The Little Pig (103 S. Scott Ave. Belton, MO 64012) Formally known as Mick's, The Little Pig has some great food. The menu is quite extensive, offering  a bit more then the usual BBQ fair. I especially enjoyed the pulled pork, BBQ beans and the awesome Carolina slaw. Even my buddy Huff liked it, and he's a BBQ slob snob.

I suggest you take a little trip down to friendly Belton and try some. After you eat, walk over to the nearby Belton Railroad, check out all the trains and take a ride on one. It's a fun, short little ride.

Fernet Branca

I tried this for the first time about a year ago. It's very complex and takes some getting used to. I drink it with coke. Here is an article about it.

" Made up of over 40 different kinds of herbs and spices, the drink is often consumed as a digestif -- to help aid digestion after a large meal -- or as a hangover cure."

Here is a link to their website.

The Plaza?

I haven't been to the Plaza for anything in a long time. I'm thinking about going over there for dinner soon. Any suggestions? M&S Grill, Plaza Three, Figlio, Capitol Grill, Hibachi, Fogo de Chao, The Melting Pot, Fiorella's, or maybe Kona?

Maybe some nice PR people could influence my decision on where to eat?

This is pretty sad

Willie sings for the bell in 1991 to pay "The Man".

Huff got it wrong

The PR people from Backfire BBQ bought lunch for us today and it was fantastic! My buddy Huff ate out there a few weeks ago and said it was shit one of the worst meals he has ever had in his life. He couldn't have been more wrong. The best parts of the meal were the corn bread, pulled pork and the brisket. The meat was super moist and very flavorful. Some of the best brisket and pork I've had. I wanted to dislike this place on the premise alone, but I couldn't. It's good stuff. Now go get ya some!

They knew we were coming.

Thank you Chris and Terry!

Eat me Daily Interviews Shut Up, Foodies

Read it here.

"Since its debut a mere three weeks ago, the blog Shut Up, Foodies has received a lot of attention from those in the food world who can laugh at themselves. At once satirical and serious, Shut Up, Foodies seeks to point out the areas in which food snobs are hypocritical, self-righteous, and just plain ridiculous. We interview the three anonymous authors, Julia Childless, Snacktime, and Meatball, below."

Shut up, Foodies is cool. Find them here.

Yummy in my tummy

Yu Um Chon needs her own show. Maybe she should take over for Ina Garten?

It's food writer Bingo!

I think "redolent" isn't used enough.

FOH at Momofuku

Momofuku Mo-Fos.

"-Don’t cluster fuck passage ways, always say behind, stepping in, corner" Funny.

He's doing this for your own good.

Clean up on aisle three! "he thought if he could save one chubby girl, he's done his job."

Columbia Critic Defends Colicchio & Sons Review

Go Jason go! I've always thought Tom Colicchio was an elitist dick.

"Yet, I smile at Tom Colicchio’s tweets, at his immature ravings, because they help me understand why Colicchio & Sons is such a horrendous restaurant. In effect, the bitter taste of Colicchio’s entitled, elitist attitude spills over into his food and infects the ethos of his restaurant. When I went to Colicchio & Sons, I felt like an outsider, isolated and denied access to the true possibilities of Colicchio’s skill."

Tee Hee.

The Edison LA

Wow this place looks totally sick. I'm definitely going to hit this place up while I'm in LA this summer. Be sure to check out the virtual tour.

"Eater Los Angeles gets word that the Edison, a popular cocktail lounge and restaurant located in a former power plant in downtown LA, has their sights set on New York City."

R&I's Top 100 Independent Restaurants 2010: The Rankings

Hot Damn. That's a lot of dough.

"The highest-grossing independent restaurants in the United States had combined food-and-beverage sales of $1.37 billion last year, significantly off from the previous year's aggregate of $1.52 billion."

Here is a list of the top 400 restaurant chains.

It's good

I feel I owe it to Smash Burger to review their new restaurant. After all they did buy lunch for me and a co-worker today.

It was a damn good burger! Go get one.

It's Chocolate Covered Raisin Day!

Look kids, it's the American Food Holidays Calender. August 3rd is "Grab Some Nuts" day!

So eat up! It's national something day! Here's an article, read it.

KC food section fail

Need a great Super Sunday recipe? Oh... wait... it's the end of March. Maybe the post will still be up next year.

Trendy enough already!

Everyone knows burgers are frickin delicious but enough is enough. We have Local Burger, Smash Burger, Chef Burger, Hamburger Mary's, Big Burger, Wolf Burgers, Grandstand Burgers, Five Guys Burgers, Blanc Burgers (try the $21 variety) and countless others popping up every week.

I hope the next food trend that sweeps the nation is a little more exciting like a Picadillo invasion or a Gyulai infestation.

Is grass fed better?

I don't go out of my way to buy whole, slow, free range, grass fed, hormone free or even local foods. Maybe I should, but I don't. I probably wouldn't have ever tried grass fed beef if it wasn't for a drinking buddy. A couple weeks ago we were throwing a few back and he offered up a few pounds of grass fed beef from his family farm. I thought it was fabulous. It had a super beefy taste and great texture. Try some if you can find it.

Here's an article that talks about it.

Let's put together a butcher party

I'm totally down with this.

""The first butcher party," Ryan Farr says, "was called 'Hop, Hop, Hop, Into the Burning Ring of Fire.' That was on Easter last year, and we did rabbits."
Farr is the star of San Francisco's 4505 Meats, "Home of Revival Butchery," and he is taking his gospel to the barroom. He is one of a handful of young practitioners across the country who are staging bacchanalian "butcher parties," where they bring whole carcasses -- from rabbits to steer -- to bars, hang them up, take them apart, and cook them while wide-eyed partyers wash down the resultant meaty snacks with cocktails and beer."

Yeah, it's a frickin ham bar

What a great idea!

""As I look at it," Youkilis says, "Hams are gems. They're unique and interesting and take a shitload of time to make."

Without a grain of salt

Insane bill would ban the use of salt in NY restaurants, and would impose a $1000 fine for each "use" of salt.

"...maybe chefs shouldn’t even bother cooking and we should just have microwaves at every table..."

Bourdain radio show? You bet your boots.

 

Yee Haw! This sounds like it could be good. Too bad I don't have Sirius XM.

"The show, called “Anthony Bourdain and Eric Ripert: Turn & Burn,” will run for five weeks starting Thursday. It will cover numerous food subjects; listeners also can call in with questions.""

If You Can’t Take the Heat, Don’t Read Me on Twitter

 Chefs be baggin on other chefs via the interwebs.

Disputes can quickly escalate. Ryan Skeen, top right, says he used Twitter to get fired by Richard Friedberg, top left. Joe Dobias, above left, Tweeted about wanting to run over a critic, Daniel Mauer, above right, with his bike.

And the semifinalists are.......

The James Beard Foundation just released the semifinalists (link PDF) for its annual awards honoring the nation's best restaurants, chefs and other food and drink professionals.


A few folks from our area earned spots on the list:

Outstanding Chef-
Michael Smith, Michael Smith, Kansas City, MO

Outstanding Restaurant-
The American Restaurant, Kansas City, MO

Best Chef Midwest-
Linda Duerr, Zest, Leawood, KS
Colby Garrelts, Bluestem, Kansas City, MO

To tip or not to tip

Do you tip on takeout orders? I think you should. Most of the cheap asses people who commented on this post don't play dat. If you fail to tip on takeout at Thai Place in Westport, Nena jumps the bar and  bites off your testicles. Really, she does. This is why the fellers from St. Lukes have no balls.

Good riddance

The Corner Restaurant closed. This should have happened many years ago when the crowds left. Hearne talks about it here. What is next for the space? Another tattoo parlor? Another super hip clothing store? Maybe retro home furnishings? I'd like to be surprised by the next tenant, I doubt that I will.

Recipes for Romance

It appears figs and chocolate get her fired up. Who knew? I always thought it was the booze.

Here is another article about aphrodisiac foods. Here comes the science.

"... figs, asparagus and cucumbers, have long been seen as erotic because of their resemblance to the male and female sex organs."

The most one sided battle ever

This isn't a fair fight.

I can't help myself

This kills me. The clap and point?

"...the whole scene played like the world’s most God-awful Fieri infomercial"

"And who takes a LIMO to Grinders Johnny Garlics? Seriously? That’s humiliating. That’s like landing a helicopter on the roof of Denny’s to get a free Grand Slam breakfast. If I was a contestant on the show this day, I’d cry."

I think you dropped something

Do you eat it? Here's a flow chart to help your decision. If you're from Huntington, West Virginia you wouldn't hesitate.

Fat City, not from the Pitch ....... the real Fat City

You're fat, but this town is fatter. Jamie Oliver breaks down and cries in this one.